The fear of yourself
Keeping secrets from those who cant keep your secrets is one of the best things to do, you see life is full of potential but the difference between my life and theirs is that my deepest secret is the fear of what I can do to myself. Life is all about accepting challenges they say but honestly no matter how many challenges you face you still end up facing more. Till your last breath you are trying to make the best out of your reality by going to extents to achieve your dreams. I stopped dreaming a while back, when you are thrown in a society that only cares about shattering you down to the most tiniest fragments all you could do is laugh at the joke you have made of yourself. Everyone perceives things in a different way. Death to me is a joke and birth is a mistake, sunrise is a disappointment and sunset is a relief, my life has revolved around pain and I manage to find the pleasure in it. When you are so close to an emotion that has overtaken every mood of yours that is when you know that its a never ending war between what you could achieve and what you are achieving.
I sometimes hope that the reality destroys me to an extent where I would find no hope. But, there is always bit of hope which is honestly quite annoying. You do not sense fear when you sense pain, but you do feel numb and rather than screaming you could always laugh at it. Laugh at how vulnerable you have become, you allow pain to affect you, to destroy you and for some people burn their personalities into ashes to become someone else. Blame yourself because life is not precious it is rather a huge burden to yourself and to those who surround you because you have to care about yourself, they have to care about you. We fail to understand, what we have is not going to accompany our ashes when we burn and close our eyes forever with least worries. Why should you care about yourself even though you might turn into a freak that only fears itself. Why do you pay those counselors so much to listen to the demons in your head, why cant you just to talk them yourself they stay inside you, why do you need someone else to know your deepest secret. Enjoy your demons because they target your weakest spots and rip your heart with every word they say. More than humans they have the greater chances of killing you. Murders fear but your demons do not. Why hide your pain while you could cherish it. Being hurt is the best feeling because it brings out your rawest form, the tears falling are the most honest, the bruises on your knuckles are the most beautiful scars and the pain in your chest is the most purest form of pain.
Sometimes you have been hurt for so long that there are no more tears left, frustration starts building up. Try to numb your chest, do all the drugs in the world but the only feeling that is close to satisfying you is the pain of hurting yourself just the way you were hurt before. We try to choose happiness but you idiots forget that pain is a constant feeling when you are hurt. You cant avoid it, you cant breathe easy when the devil on your shoulder is piercing with a knife through your heart. Its an irreplaceable and irreparable feeling. Accept it, cherish it, live with it but you should not fear it. Trust me its worth enjoying,
I sometimes hope that the reality destroys me to an extent where I would find no hope. But, there is always bit of hope which is honestly quite annoying. You do not sense fear when you sense pain, but you do feel numb and rather than screaming you could always laugh at it. Laugh at how vulnerable you have become, you allow pain to affect you, to destroy you and for some people burn their personalities into ashes to become someone else. Blame yourself because life is not precious it is rather a huge burden to yourself and to those who surround you because you have to care about yourself, they have to care about you. We fail to understand, what we have is not going to accompany our ashes when we burn and close our eyes forever with least worries. Why should you care about yourself even though you might turn into a freak that only fears itself. Why do you pay those counselors so much to listen to the demons in your head, why cant you just to talk them yourself they stay inside you, why do you need someone else to know your deepest secret. Enjoy your demons because they target your weakest spots and rip your heart with every word they say. More than humans they have the greater chances of killing you. Murders fear but your demons do not. Why hide your pain while you could cherish it. Being hurt is the best feeling because it brings out your rawest form, the tears falling are the most honest, the bruises on your knuckles are the most beautiful scars and the pain in your chest is the most purest form of pain.
Sometimes you have been hurt for so long that there are no more tears left, frustration starts building up. Try to numb your chest, do all the drugs in the world but the only feeling that is close to satisfying you is the pain of hurting yourself just the way you were hurt before. We try to choose happiness but you idiots forget that pain is a constant feeling when you are hurt. You cant avoid it, you cant breathe easy when the devil on your shoulder is piercing with a knife through your heart. Its an irreplaceable and irreparable feeling. Accept it, cherish it, live with it but you should not fear it. Trust me its worth enjoying,