ANGER!!!!
What have I become? Every inch of me hates every inch of itself. To begin with, anger management is a common problem with a lot of people. But sometimes its more than what you think it is. People often get angry over situations that they feel are wrong and have been caused due to an external factor. But, in some cases it is completely different. There is a niche population that faces the problem of being angry over themselves, these people usually don't intend to hurt other civilians with their unaccepted behavior. With these kind of humans its very difficult for them to express themselves. They usually cannot cry because there are honestly no tears left to shed. This is because of self frustration. Being disappointed on yourself is a natural type of behavior, but people like these can never seem to find a way to overcome their disappointments. Feeling the pain of failures and the everlasting memory of the moment that you wish were just a hangover remains a forever fantasy and the reality is singing the tunes of your death.
Trying to kill all of this memories is just impossible to begin with. Try smoking, go to your nearest store ask for Marlboro and light it up, be careful it hurts down the throat. Now see if your pain has gone away, see if your disappointment upon yourself is gone. Maybe it is. But, for how long five minutes and after that you get the reality check and the cycle begins. You light one up, you feel great, five minutes go by and reality check on your face. How long are you planning to hide from the part of you that you wish was forgotten. Usually this anger issue is never replaced. The feeling of punching your face so hard that you don't have to doubt yourself if you are ugly. Betrayal is one of the things that hurts the most in these cases. When you invest your trust, faith and everything else that you have to over and they end up hurting you in the back with a knife, that wound is never going to heal, you can cover it up as much as you want but it would not heal. In these cases you cannot hurt the other person because you still love them, they move on and you end up destroying yourself for that one soul that left like the chewing gum under the table. Then you get angry, start breaking things, punching walls or slamming your head against the wall.
But, you fail to understand how big off a idiot you are, they move on and you keep hugging their photo like there is no one else in this world. They might be enjoying martinis by the beach in Hawaii while you are whining like a six year old in the basement of your house in complete darkness with their memories all over your mind. Life is such a pain, I know it is a biggest pain. But the decision is still upto you because everyone else is going to grow up, get married have kids and you would still be sobbing over that picture with a Marlboro and a bottle of hennessy. Your social life wont exist, the friends from high school will have colleagues from their workplaces and you would still be smashing walls, no one to call. Honestly most of this anger cases would not exist if we start living for ourselves a bit more. Just take that bike, drive to the bar and spend your night with some new guys without promising a lifetime. No commitments, no promises and especially no strings attached. My loves, live in the present, past was yesterday and future is tomorrow, so why do you want your present to affected by things that dont matter now. Live a bit you, live a bit true so that you dont forever stay in the blue.
Trying to kill all of this memories is just impossible to begin with. Try smoking, go to your nearest store ask for Marlboro and light it up, be careful it hurts down the throat. Now see if your pain has gone away, see if your disappointment upon yourself is gone. Maybe it is. But, for how long five minutes and after that you get the reality check and the cycle begins. You light one up, you feel great, five minutes go by and reality check on your face. How long are you planning to hide from the part of you that you wish was forgotten. Usually this anger issue is never replaced. The feeling of punching your face so hard that you don't have to doubt yourself if you are ugly. Betrayal is one of the things that hurts the most in these cases. When you invest your trust, faith and everything else that you have to over and they end up hurting you in the back with a knife, that wound is never going to heal, you can cover it up as much as you want but it would not heal. In these cases you cannot hurt the other person because you still love them, they move on and you end up destroying yourself for that one soul that left like the chewing gum under the table. Then you get angry, start breaking things, punching walls or slamming your head against the wall.
But, you fail to understand how big off a idiot you are, they move on and you keep hugging their photo like there is no one else in this world. They might be enjoying martinis by the beach in Hawaii while you are whining like a six year old in the basement of your house in complete darkness with their memories all over your mind. Life is such a pain, I know it is a biggest pain. But the decision is still upto you because everyone else is going to grow up, get married have kids and you would still be sobbing over that picture with a Marlboro and a bottle of hennessy. Your social life wont exist, the friends from high school will have colleagues from their workplaces and you would still be smashing walls, no one to call. Honestly most of this anger cases would not exist if we start living for ourselves a bit more. Just take that bike, drive to the bar and spend your night with some new guys without promising a lifetime. No commitments, no promises and especially no strings attached. My loves, live in the present, past was yesterday and future is tomorrow, so why do you want your present to affected by things that dont matter now. Live a bit you, live a bit true so that you dont forever stay in the blue.
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